A failed Daygame session turned into a lesson. This is going to be a very painful adventure.
A failed Daygame session turned into a lesson. This is going to be a very painful adventure.
If you’re out there and you’re learning Daygame as well, then reach out to me! I would love to have more friends that Daygame.
MY FIRST EVER DAYGAME APPROACH almost ended in a lay!!
Yesterday, I did my first Daygame approach in Los Angeles. This moment reminded me of the first Daygame approach I ever did in my life which took place in South Korea and how far I have come since. At the time I lived in Daegu, South Korea and I took a 4-hour train all the way t0 Seoul to begin my Daygame journey because I was so scared that word would get around that I creeped a girl out I approached!
I arrived at 1am on a Thursday. It was a holiday weekend. I put my bags in my hotel room and headed to bar street. I remember walking around the cold streets of Itaewon being too scared to approach any of the girls in the noisy bars and clubs.
I walked one block over to the main street. It was quieter and less crowded. I felt calm and at ease. Then I saw a really CUTE Korean girl standing on the side of the road trying to catch a taxi. It was 2am. I felt anxiety creep up as I entertained the thought of approaching her. I paced back and forth behind her 3 times in a row and then hid in a near by alley to give myself a quick pep talk. My heart was racing and I was scared to death.
I took a deep breath and marched over to her. “Hi, I think you’re cute. Can I have your number?” She paused, scanned me up and down and then gave me her number.
I realized that I didn’t even ask her what her name was so I backtracked and started a normal conversation with her. I found out that she had just come from having drinks friends and now was catching a taxi home because she doesn’t trust herself when she is out alone (her words).
She asked me to help her flag down a taxi. I happily agreed. Then, all of a sudden she changed her mind and she wanted to go dancing. She suggested we go to her favorite club nearby. I agreed of course. She paid the $5 entry fee and in a matter of 30 minutes I went from being too scared to approach a girl to dancing with one of the hottest girls I’ve ever danced with!
I had already gotten farther than I could ever imagine so I was just happy to be there. We danced downstairs, upstairs and then downstairs again. I bought her a drink and she put her phone and cigarettes in my pocket. At one point we even bumped into her friends and she introduced me by squeezing my cheeks and showing me off. I felt on top of the world!
It was now getting close to 6am. I had invited her back to my hotel room a few times and I was now getting sleepy. I invited her back one last time and to my surprise – she agreed! We left the club and walked into the gentle morning light past piles of garbage, crowds of people ending their night and crowds of people starting their day and into the hotel lobby.
I remember her stumbling into my hotel room and once she was there she wanted to play with my camera. I was panicking because the battery had died but it turned out – she didn’t really care. I had 2 beds in my hotel room and of course she claimed the smaller bed all for herself. I, of course, preferred her in my bed so I tried my best to persuade her to join me. She objected, saying she wanted to sleep by herself and that she had a boyfriend pointing to the cheap ring she was wearing.
At this point it was 6:30 in the morning and I was genuinely exhausted. I had very little energy left to put up with her bullshit so I put on my night clothes, jumped into my bed and went the fuck to sleep. I totally ignored her. About 20 or 30 minutes later she asked to join me in my bed. I agreed but I truly didn’t care because I was trying to sleep.
I remember laying there thinking why would a girl invite a random guy out of a night of dancing and drinking and then come back to his hotel room and NOT have sex with him. Hmmmm… strange. Little did I know that, that was my window of opportunity. My precious moment to go from zero to hero was disappearing. There was even a moment in the middle of the night where she rubbed my dick with her foot but I was too oblivious to read these obvious signals.
I woke up at about 11am – 4 hours later in shock that she was still there and the previous night wasn’t a dream. When she woke up I kissed her. She gave me stiff lips and said she felt self-conscious about her morning breath and asked, “If I go to the bathroom and come back will you kiss me?” I gladly offered myself up for the task.
When she came back from the bathroom something was different though. She was partly dressed and the moment was gone. I tried again to make a move but it was over. She told me she thought I would make a move in the middle of the night but maybe I was gay and then she just left.
I did manage to see her 2-days later. I took her out, to a club, with a group of friends, that I had met that day, in an attempt to recreate, what should have been, the most epic night of my life and a legendary beginning to my Daygame journey, but by this time she had lost all attraction for me and she even separated herself from me in the club that night. I never saw her again.
I was coming off the heels of a summer of 84 Daygame approaches with out so much as a single date. I was frustrated and defeated. Daygame had beaten the piss out of me and I thought there was no point in doing anymore Daygame in South Korea with so little time left before I move to Los Angeles. In the mean time I decided to download Tinder and do some swiping. I got a few matches and the brief conversations I had with them (in english thank god) were already better than the past 15 numbers I had gotten from Daygame. Then I stumbled across a super like.
She messaged me first. Green light. She remembered me from the very first day I was in Korea. We had breakfast in the same room of our hotel over a year ago when I was still with my ex-girlfriend. We messaged back and forth for a while then I asked for her number. Keeping the conversation going with her was very easy as she would send me quite long messages with lots to respond to. Another green light!
We messaged back and forth for 3 full days until I asked her out. I asked her out 3 times.. on the first two times she said she wanted to but she was just too shy and on the third time she finally agreed to meet me downtown the following Tuesday. We kept messaging for another day and a half and she proposed to move our date up a few days to Sunday before. She didn’t want to meet downtown either she wanted to meet in my neck of the woods. Double green light!
The day of our date she came dressed in clothes that looked rather warm for how hot and humid it was. We chatted about the mutual friends that we (apparently) had and about how our summer was going as we walked to a near by coffee shop. When we sat down I saw that she was wearing make up (another green light) and I thought, “this makes sense.” I could see myself fucking her. I started off my verbal escalation as usual with my ‘men and women can’t be friends speech.’ She did not object to the idea ~ green light. I did more comfort for about 15 minutes and then suggested we walk around the near by park. I knew I had to find a way to sit next to her and go for the kiss. The date would be a waste of time if I didn’t make my intensions crystal clear.
We hiked around the park. I complimented her on her legs as I could see them well in her skin tight black yoga pants. I showed her a cool view point then we sat on a bench over looking the park to rest for a bit. We chatted more about our upbringings and she told me she actually grew up in Nashville, Tennessee. If you can imagine a Japanese – American girl with a southern US accent, that’s what I was dealing with here…
There wasn’t a perfect moment to go in for the kiss but I knew I had to – I’ve fucked up too many dates in the past by not going for it. Fuck it. I went in for the kiss. She kissed me for a bit but then turned away. She was embarrassed because she had gotten her make up all over me and because (later I would find out) I was the first boy she had kissed.
She went to the bathroom to fix her herself up. When she came out I proposed we get lunch at a near by restaurant. I pointed out all of the spots in my neighborhood that I frequent (including my house) on the way to this restaurant. We had some Korean BBQ and while she was speaking to our waiter in Korean I could make out a bit of the conversation ~ our waiter asking her if I was her boyfriend and she said “maybe, I’m not sure yet.” Green light?
We joked around about our time in Korea, she made me eat a pepper with her and then called me a punk for not being able to handle it. After we finished our lunch, she asked if I wanted to go downtown to sing some karaoke… I said I’d rather chill in the AC until it cools down. My place was right around the corner so I offered to get some snacks and watch TV at mine. She said, “are you tying to Netflix and chill me boyy?” “I’ve got my eye on you if you try to make a move.”
I wasn’t sure if that meant yes or no, but I just wanted to try so that my intentions were clear. Never in my wildest dreams did I think she would actually come back with me. We walked out of the restaurant and held hands as we walked back to mine. It was surreal. The whole time I was thinking – is this really happening?
At mine I put on some Dave Chapelle and just chilled and watched it with her. I wasn’t sure how to make a move and to be honest I was enjoying the show. Then SHE took my arm and put it around her so she could get more comfortable. Green light. I waited until my favorite joke was over then I turned her head and started kissing her. She moaned instantly. Sexy little asian squeals.
I kissed her then backed off. I made out with her then backed off. Then I grabbed her, made out with her some more and she moaned loudly. After about 10 minutes of this I reached down for her pussy but she grabbed my hand and said, “no baby.” I kissed her some more and tried to reach down again and she grabbed my hand. Then said she has always wanted to have her titties sucked on so she pulled them out, all the while saying how much of a bad boy I was for “making” her do this. Okay.
She pulled out her titties, I sucked on them and she moaned in ecstasy. I reached down for her pussy and this time she didn’t stop me. I fingered her and sucked on her titties until she came. I put her hand on my hard dick and she grabbed it tightly. I got on top of her and started dry humping her… This is when the moaning got really loud. I tried to take her pants off and she said “no baby I can’t.”
I picked her up and put her on my bed. She gave me the most submissive look I’ve ever seen in my life. I continued to dry hump her and put her hand on my hard dick. I really thought this was as far as we were going to go then after about 10 minutes she said, “you know if I ask you if you have a condom that doesn’t mean that we’re going to have sex.” “Yeah, I know,” I said.
“Take off the lights you bad boy,” she said, “I can’t believe you, I’m a good girl!” I took off the lights, she took off her pants, I rolled on a condom and she slipped me inside of her. Her pussy was fucking perfect! She was soaking wet! And the sounds she was making were just beautiful! She even wanted me to lay down so she could ride me – go figure!
After we were done it was no more shyness. She was all smiles and giggles. “Thank you! I’ve always wanted someone to do that to me,” she said. “What do you mean?” I said. “I’ve never done that before… so, sorry If I wasn’t any good at it,” she said, “I’m a virgin!” HOLY SHIT!
THIS is the kind of stuff I got into the game for! What an amazing experience! I took a girl’s virginity! On top of that I found it very intriguing how she gave the same signals as other girls do even though she’s never had sex before.
We had sex 5 more times over the next 4 days. It became clear to me that she was actually a virgin (I didn’t believe her at first). The week after those 4 days was an even more intense fuck fest! Beautiful times. I am on cloud nine. I catch myself constantly thinking, how is this my actual life right now?! I really can’t imagine it getting any better than this.
It turns out, it got even better! I ended up spending my entire last month in South Korea with her. We had a magical mini-relationship, she showed me places in South Korea that I had never seen before and since she spoke a little Korean, traveling around with her was so fascinating! THIS is the value I see in Daygame – amazing, life-changing experiences THAT HAPPEN BECAUSE OF MY INITIATIVE! And the best part is, we still keep in touch!
I dedicated every ounce of time, energy and money that I had into Daygame and STILL I was coming up short. Daygame was now something that caused me a tremendous amount of pain and provided no justifiable results. My answer to this dilemma was to give nightgame a try.
I only nightgamed for about 3 weekends but that was enough time to obtain 2 very key reference experiences. I met a hot Kenyan girl in a bar downtown. There were a few guys (and girls) hitting on her and somehow I got close enough to try what little game I had on her. At first, she was shit testing the fuck out of me. Her friends were around her taunting me, grabbing her boobs and what not, but the minute I tried anything with her she would slap me and try her hardest to put me in the friend-zone.
We went up to the rooftop to have a cigarette. I don’t even smoke. I just wanted to be alone with her and to get away from her friends. On the rooftop I complimented her and did a bit of comfort. She seemed to enjoy it. We came back into the building, got drinks and then sat on the steps right outside of the bar. We took pictures together as if we were a couple and she was going on about how I was such a cool guy because I wasn’t trying to get in her pants like all the other guys were. Whatever.
My game was a bit like a romantic sap that night. She was really hot and I was really drunk. There was a moment after we took our coupley pictures together where we just stared at each other and nothing was being said. Fuck it, I thought. I went in for the kiss. She turned her head away, smiled and said “I’m not that type of girl.” But I could see that she was enjoying my company so I was a bit confused. I told her that I never met someone as amazing as her before and that I could see myself marrying a girl like her one day. She actually said to me, “wow, your game is really good!” I thought she was just messing with me again. Then another moment came where we were gazing deeply into each other’s eyes but not really saying much, so I went in for another kiss. This time I got it.
I’ve never kissed a woman with such thick full lips like that. It was amazing! Several more makeouts later, I led her out to the street to try and catch a taxi back to my place. It seemed on. I asked her to come back to mine for “one last drink.” She responded with “you’re such a cool guy but you ruin it with all of this sex stuff.” I replied by saying “it’s my job to try… that’s how a man is supposed to treat a woman he’s interested in.” She said, “yes, but not all of the time. It’s much better to choose your moments.”
I never did get her to come back with me but we did continue to make out all night. There was even a time where one of her (female) friends pulled her close and started making out with her. I was a bit confused and definitely jealous so I began flirting with her friend and when I noticed that same ‘looking intensely at each other but not saying anything’ moment, I went for the kiss. Second kiss close of the night. Now I was partying all night with a Kenyan girl and a South African girl casually making out with the two of them whenever I wanted. I felt like the man! Especially since there were 2 or 3 guys just following us around hating on me because they were trying to get with those girls but they kept on getting rejected.
I partied with those girls all night until 10am. I was sick the whole next day. Nightgame was a crazy fun adventure but there was no way I could do it every weekend, let alone 3 times a week consistently without the rest of my life completely falling apart.
I never saw those 2 girls again but the lessons from my Nightgame adventures were a game changer in my Daygame journey – (1) to not be so sexual all of the time but instead to “choose my moments” and (2) knowing when to go in for the kiss. I was thankful for those lessons because the very next weekend I got laid!
I now entered into a world of bliss. I really liked this girl. We would go on dates to different restaurants every Wednesday and every Saturday we would have fun weekend adventures and she would spend the night. She would even cook me breakfast too!
These were truly fun times. We would go to coffee shops, explore different parts of the city and just spend a lot of time with each other in general. The highlight was definitely when we went to E-world (the Korean version of Disney World) together and rode roller coasters. We even went to the petting zoo and tried different Korean snacks together too.
I couldn’t even wrap my head around how this girl could like me so much. I have literally been rejected by more women than most guys will talk to in their lifetime and here she was enjoying my company. Maybe she was crazy. After we would have sex I would lay back and drift off in to a hazey state thinking about how I fucked up on all of my previous dates but managed to get this one right.
My mistakes during dating really came down to 2 things: (1) not having my logistics planned – a coffee shop for verbal escalation and a dark seductive bar with good seats for physial escalation – and (2) not escalating on the date either because I haven’t planned my logistics smoothly enough or because I was too afraid to escalate for fear of losing her. I’ve lost more girls by not escalating than I have by escalating and what’s even worse is that I end up with a deep sense of regret for not escalating but when I do escalate, and I lose the girl, I end up feeling proud of myself because I stood up for what I really wanted.
I took a whole month off of Daygame. I was enjoying the relationship so much and I didn’t want to have to face the pain of Daygame again, but deep down I knew that I needed to get back to the grind. The girl I was dating literally lived in the heart of Downtown (where I would do all of my Daygame) so that posed a big problem for me. I found this huge university on the west-side of town and decided I would do my daygame out there.
Daygaming at this University was so peaceful. It was so quiet out there compared to the hustle and bustle of Downtown. The girls were friendlier, hotter, they spoke better English and best of all they were all concentrated on that campus. This just might have been the best idea I’ve ever had!
I stopped this cute Korean girl on the steps in front of the library, she was so bubbly and positive. I number closed her and that number led to a date.
I wasn’t familiar with that area of town so I didn’t know of a good bar I could take this girl to. I remember going out to that University area the day before our date and hunting for good date venues but I couldn’t find a decent place. I settled on a coffee shop that had an area in the back where you could sit on pillows on the floor in a private little cubby. At the time this seemed like a good idea.
She flaked on the actual day of our date but she did offer to reschedule and she even called it a “date” so I was feeling optimistic about it. The day finally came. We met in front of the university and I led her to this coffee shop. She ordered her drink and seemed to be having a great time looking for the perfect seats for us. We sat down, had a bit of a chat then I began the verbal escalation. “I was talking to my friend earlier and he asked me if men and women can just be friends and I said no, I don’t think so” I said. To which she responded “but we are just friends.” I told her how I was attracted to her and about how I thought she was pretty. She smiled. I assumed she was enjoying my compliments, and then she said, “buuut I have boyfriend.”
What does this girl mean she has a boyfriend?! What exactly could be going on in this girl’s head to think it’s okay mentioning she has a boyfriend NOW that we are on our supposed “date.” I probed a bit to find out more about this boyfriend and apparently he was some military guy away on a tour. Great. Now with my tail between my legs I stopped escalating and quickly wrapped up the date up. I walked her to the bus stop and never saw her again.
I was confused after that experience. Especially since she mentioned that she had a “date” with a (female) friend over coffee the previous day. I struggled as to whether or not I should call that a date. On the one hand she technically called it a date and seemed interested during the initial approach but on the other hand maybe she called any meeting, with a human being over coffee, a date. In some cases the date felt friendzoney but in a secret way it felt on. Tom Torero would later clarify for me that she was interested in me as the lover and not the provider. Either way I had fucked up yet another date due to me not planning my logistics well enough and failing to escalate.
I struggled a bit with Daygame from there. I would go out to the University, do a handfull of sets but it was hard to put up with any rejection when I could just go to my “girlfriend’s” house and get laid.
Another month of lazing around with daygame and floating through relationship la-la land went by. “Girlfriend” planned a trip up to Seoul with her friends during a holiday weekend so we spent a ton of time together before that trip and planned a fuck day for when she came back. We had that fuck day. It was great, but that was a turning point in our relationship. By now, the amount of time we were spending together was at an all time high. After 2 months of fun, sex and dating I got the dreaded text ~ “So what are we?”
The next day we met in a cafe and had The Talk. I was sweating bullets that day because I knew that was the moment of truth. I had to choose between a relationship with her or staying dedicated to my Daygame journey. I told her that I didn’t want a serious relationship at this point and about how I’m moving to Los Angeles at the end of the summer so it would be best to keep things casual. She was okay with that at first but by the end of the weekend she wanted to end things between us. I was now fully back aboard the roller coaster that is Daygame.
I was hurt to be honest but on the other hand I was very cocky about my daygame abilities at this point. I was also a bit nostalgic about the “good ol’ days” in my daygame adventure when I was really pushing it. I thought to myself “So What?! I’m a Player from the HIMALAYAS!!” I’ll go out and find a new girl. I’ve dated a new girl every month for the past 6 months IN A ROW. This will be a piece of cake.
I hit the streets hard that next week. I went out 4 days in a row and did 5 approaches each session – 20 Sets resulting in 8 phone numbers. Fuck yeah! I texted them, and one by one they flaked. Girl’s were “busy,” they would say their boyfriends were jealous and that they should stop talking to me, they would friendzone me, and the most painful one of all… girls would stop responding once I sent them the date request.
No matter. Everyone goes through shit streaks every now and then. I’ll just do 20 more sets and surely I’ll get another date. I hit the streets the following week, through all of the pain and self doubt I was already experiencing, and pushed my self to do another 20 sets. This time I only got 1 phone number and she flaked on me immediately. Queue mental breakdown.
I really started to doubt myself at that point. “Was I ever any good at this?” I thought. I felt like I’d been cursed. I fell into a pit of depression for the next couple of weeks. I would spend afternoons at home by myself, in the dark, drinking and watching Californication. Then I listened to a podcast by Tom Torero about how people create self-made prisons for themselves. They have the key and could walk out of their cell anytime they wanted to but they actually enjoyed their self-made prisons. I was certainly living in a prison of my own making.
I had the bright idea of booking a Phone Coaching session with Tom Torero himself during this time. When the day came for our actual Skype call, I went out that morning to do some last minute Daygame just to see if I could record some sets before our call. I wandered around my area of town too depressed to talk to any girls and I just ended up sitting on a bench over-looking my neighborhood thinking what’s the point of all of this Daygame nonsense. I didn’t do any approaches that day but I did accidentally leave my phone recording and happened to record my entire phone coaching session with Tom Torero!
I must have listened to that recording at least 10 times. I took everything he said to heart and listened to my previous Daygame set recordings to see where I was going wrong. I emerged out of my cave ready to dust myself off and get back into Daygame.For the first time in my Daygame career I did 10 approaches in 1 daygame session! Yes! I’ve been trying to achieve that since I started Daygame. I did my last 25 approaches and made it to 300. Hallelujah! It’s been such a long and dramatic chapter and I am really happy to have it completed.
So where am I now? Well, in this set of 100 approaches, I’ve gotten 19 phone numbers, been on 2 dates and have finally gotten my first Daygame lay! I could complain about how this chapter was mostly shit – my lay was approach 201 and the date with the Korean girl was approach 216, so effectively 84 ‘rejections’ in a row. However, I did get laid and it went on to become a fun 2-month fling, so I am thankful for that. If every chapter from here on out was an exact repeat of this one, I’d be happy with that.
I am also thankful that I have experienced every possible outcome that can happen from approaching a girl. I’ve experienced the girls that don’t even stop for you. I’ve experienced the girls who will happily have a long chat with you but won’t give you their phone number. I’ve experienced a wide array of number closes. I’ve experienced girls who will text you for a little bit and then fall down a mysterious black hole. I’ve experienced time-waster girls who will text you for weeks but will never come out on a date with you. I’ve experienced girls who will come out on dates. I now know how to set up a good date logistically (since I’ve set up so many bad ones). I’ve seen how girls give you fake resistances but are really on for the chase. I’ve seen what a girl who is actually interested in me looks like. And most of all I’ve seen a girl give me a glowing smile as I thrusted my P into her V. I now believe that I can make it all happen through my own effort.
Moving forward I have a few thoughts. I have done some reflecting on my time in South Korea and I have realized that Daygame has consumed most of it. As of now, I only have 7 and a half weeks left in South Korea before I move to Los Angeles. I can’t realistically see myself sleeping with a Korean girl in that time, and that sucks! It deeply saddens me to have spent so much time in this country Daygaming without ever having banged a native girl. However, life goes on and I am thankful for all of the amazing times that did happen.
Audio recording of my Skype coaching session with the Legendary Tom Torero. Enjoy 😉
That is me at 46:28 featured on Tom Torero’s Podcast 100! My story covers the pain and suffering of my first 200 approaches – literally everything up to my First Daygame Lay. I encourage you to listen to the whole thing to hear how difficult yet rewarding this journey can be.