I dedicated every ounce of time, energy and money that I had into Daygame and STILL I was coming up short. Daygame was now something that caused me a tremendous amount of pain and provided no justifiable results. My answer to this dilemma was to give nightgame a try.
I only nightgamed for about 3 weekends but that was enough time to obtain 2 very key reference experiences. I met a hot Kenyan girl in a bar downtown. There were a few guys (and girls) hitting on her and somehow I got close enough to try what little game I had on her. At first, she was shit testing the fuck out of me. Her friends were around her taunting me, grabbing her boobs and what not, but the minute I tried anything with her she would slap me and try her hardest to put me in the friend-zone.
We went up to the rooftop to have a cigarette. I don’t even smoke. I just wanted to be alone with her and to get away from her friends. On the rooftop I complimented her and did a bit of comfort. She seemed to enjoy it. We came back into the building, got drinks and then sat on the steps right outside of the bar. We took pictures together as if we were a couple and she was going on about how I was such a cool guy because I wasn’t trying to get in her pants like all the other guys were. Whatever.
She looked like this but with darker skin and an afro hairstyle.
My game was a bit like a romantic sap that night. She was really hot and I was really drunk. There was a moment after we took our coupley pictures together where we just stared at each other and nothing was being said. Fuck it, I thought. I went in for the kiss. She turned her head away, smiled and said “I’m not that type of girl.” But I could see that she was enjoying my company so I was a bit confused. I told her that I never met someone as amazing as her before and that I could see myself marrying a girl like her one day. She actually said to me, “wow, your game is really good!” I thought she was just messing with me again. Then another moment came where we were gazing deeply into each other’s eyes but not really saying much, so I went in for another kiss. This time I got it.
I’ve never kissed a woman with such thick full lips like that. It was amazing! Several more makeouts later, I led her out to the street to try and catch a taxi back to my place. It seemed on. I asked her to come back to mine for “one last drink.” She responded with “you’re such a cool guy but you ruin it with all of this sex stuff.” I replied by saying “it’s my job to try… that’s how a man is supposed to treat a woman he’s interested in.” She said, “yes, but not all of the time. It’s much better to choose your moments.”
The Nightgame Scene.
I never did get her to come back with me but we did continue to make out all night. There was even a time where one of her (female) friends pulled her close and started making out with her. I was a bit confused and definitely jealous so I began flirting with her friend and when I noticed that same ‘looking intensely at each other but not saying anything’ moment, I went for the kiss. Second kiss close of the night. Now I was partying all night with a Kenyan girl and a South African girl casually making out with the two of them whenever I wanted. I felt like the man! Especially since there were 2 or 3 guys just following us around hating on me because they were trying to get with those girls but they kept on getting rejected.
I partied with those girls all night until 10am. I was sick the whole next day. Nightgame was a crazy fun adventure but there was no way I could do it every weekend, let alone 3 times a week consistently without the rest of my life completely falling apart.
I never saw those 2 girls again but the lessons from my Nightgame adventures were a game changer in my Daygame journey – (1) to not be so sexual all of the time but instead to “choose my moments” and (2) knowing when to go in for the kiss. I was thankful for those lessons because the very next weekend I got laid!
I now entered into a world of bliss. I really liked this girl. We would go on dates to different restaurants every Wednesday and every Saturday we would have fun weekend adventures and she would spend the night. She would even cook me breakfast too!
I really like you.
These were truly fun times. We would go to coffee shops, explore different parts of the city and just spend a lot of time with each other in general. The highlight was definitely when we went to E-world (the Korean version of Disney World) together and rode roller coasters. We even went to the petting zoo and tried different Korean snacks together too.
I couldn’t even wrap my head around how this girl could like me so much. I have literally been rejected by more women than most guys will talk to in their lifetime and here she was enjoying my company. Maybe she was crazy. After we would have sex I would lay back and drift off in to a hazey state thinking about how I fucked up on all of my previous dates but managed to get this one right.
My mistakes during dating really came down to 2 things: (1) not having my logistics planned – a coffee shop for verbal escalation and a dark seductive bar with good seats for physial escalation – and (2) not escalating on the date either because I haven’t planned my logistics smoothly enough or because I was too afraid to escalate for fear of losing her. I’ve lost more girls by not escalating than I have by escalating and what’s even worse is that I end up with a deep sense of regret for not escalating but when I do escalate, and I lose the girl, I end up feeling proud of myself because I stood up for what I really wanted.
I took a whole month off of Daygame. I was enjoying the relationship so much and I didn’t want to have to face the pain of Daygame again, but deep down I knew that I needed to get back to the grind. The girl I was dating literally lived in the heart of Downtown (where I would do all of my Daygame) so that posed a big problem for me. I found this huge university on the west-side of town and decided I would do my daygame out there.
Hooray for Uni game!
Daygaming at this University was so peaceful. It was so quiet out there compared to the hustle and bustle of Downtown. The girls were friendlier, hotter, they spoke better English and best of all they were all concentrated on that campus. This just might have been the best idea I’ve ever had!
I stopped this cute Korean girl on the steps in front of the library, she was so bubbly and positive. I number closed her and that number led to a date.
I wasn’t familiar with that area of town so I didn’t know of a good bar I could take this girl to. I remember going out to that University area the day before our date and hunting for good date venues but I couldn’t find a decent place. I settled on a coffee shop that had an area in the back where you could sit on pillows on the floor in a private little cubby. At the time this seemed like a good idea.
She flaked on the actual day of our date but she did offer to reschedule and she even called it a “date” so I was feeling optimistic about it. The day finally came. We met in front of the university and I led her to this coffee shop. She ordered her drink and seemed to be having a great time looking for the perfect seats for us. We sat down, had a bit of a chat then I began the verbal escalation. “I was talking to my friend earlier and he asked me if men and women can just be friends and I said no, I don’t think so” I said. To which she responded “but we are just friends.” I told her how I was attracted to her and about how I thought she was pretty. She smiled. I assumed she was enjoying my compliments, and then she said, “buuut I have boyfriend.”
What does this girl mean she has a boyfriend?! What exactly could be going on in this girl’s head to think it’s okay mentioning she has a boyfriend NOW that we are on our supposed “date.” I probed a bit to find out more about this boyfriend and apparently he was some military guy away on a tour. Great. Now with my tail between my legs I stopped escalating and quickly wrapped up the date up. I walked her to the bus stop and never saw her again.
I was confused after that experience. Especially since she mentioned that she had a “date” with a (female) friend over coffee the previous day. I struggled as to whether or not I should call that a date. On the one hand she technically called it a date and seemed interested during the initial approach but on the other hand maybe she called any meeting, with a human being over coffee, a date. In some cases the date felt friendzoney but in a secret way it felt on. Tom Torero would later clarify for me that she was interested in me as the lover and not the provider. Either way I had fucked up yet another date due to me not planning my logistics well enough and failing to escalate.
I struggled a bit with Daygame from there. I would go out to the University, do a handfull of sets but it was hard to put up with any rejection when I could just go to my “girlfriend’s” house and get laid.
Another month of lazing around with daygame and floating through relationship la-la land went by. “Girlfriend” planned a trip up to Seoul with her friends during a holiday weekend so we spent a ton of time together before that trip and planned a fuck day for when she came back. We had that fuck day. It was great, but that was a turning point in our relationship. By now, the amount of time we were spending together was at an all time high. After 2 months of fun, sex and dating I got the dreaded text ~ “So what are we?”
“What are we?” ….we are humans.
The next day we met in a cafe and had The Talk. I was sweating bullets that day because I knew that was the moment of truth. I had to choose between a relationship with her or staying dedicated to my Daygame journey. I told her that I didn’t want a serious relationship at this point and about how I’m moving to Los Angeles at the end of the summer so it would be best to keep things casual. She was okay with that at first but by the end of the weekend she wanted to end things between us. I was now fully back aboard the roller coaster that is Daygame.
I was hurt to be honest but on the other hand I was very cocky about my daygame abilities at this point. I was also a bit nostalgic about the “good ol’ days” in my daygame adventure when I was really pushing it. I thought to myself “So What?! I’m a Player from the HIMALAYAS!!” I’ll go out and find a new girl. I’ve dated a new girl every month for the past 6 months IN A ROW. This will be a piece of cake.
I hit the streets hard that next week. I went out 4 days in a row and did 5 approaches each session – 20 Sets resulting in 8 phone numbers. Fuck yeah! I texted them, and one by one they flaked. Girl’s were “busy,” they would say their boyfriends were jealous and that they should stop talking to me, they would friendzone me, and the most painful one of all… girls would stop responding once I sent them the date request.
No matter. Everyone goes through shit streaks every now and then. I’ll just do 20 more sets and surely I’ll get another date. I hit the streets the following week, through all of the pain and self doubt I was already experiencing, and pushed my self to do another 20 sets. This time I only got 1 phone number and she flaked on me immediately. Queue mental breakdown.
Too many rejections.
I really started to doubt myself at that point. “Was I ever any good at this?” I thought. I felt like I’d been cursed. I fell into a pit of depression for the next couple of weeks. I would spend afternoons at home by myself, in the dark, drinking and watching Californication. Then I listened to a podcast by Tom Torero about how people create self-made prisons for themselves. They have the key and could walk out of their cell anytime they wanted to but they actually enjoyed their self-made prisons. I was certainly living in a prison of my own making.
I had the bright idea of booking a Phone Coaching session with Tom Torero himself during this time. When the day came for our actual Skype call, I went out that morning to do some last minute Daygame just to see if I could record some sets before our call. I wandered around my area of town too depressed to talk to any girls and I just ended up sitting on a bench over-looking my neighborhood thinking what’s the point of all of this Daygame nonsense. I didn’t do any approaches that day but I did accidentally leave my phone recording and happened to record my entire phone coaching session with Tom Torero!
I must have listened to that recording at least 10 times. I took everything he said to heart and listened to my previous Daygame set recordings to see where I was going wrong. I emerged out of my cave ready to dust myself off and get back into Daygame.
It’s time to do some Daygame.
For the first time in my Daygame career I did 10 approaches in 1 daygame session! Yes! I’ve been trying to achieve that since I started Daygame. I did my last 25 approaches and made it to 300. Hallelujah! It’s been such a long and dramatic chapter and I am really happy to have it completed.
So where am I now? Well, in this set of 100 approaches, I’ve gotten 19 phone numbers, been on 2 dates and have finally gotten my first Daygame lay! I could complain about how this chapter was mostly shit – my lay was approach 201 and the date with the Korean girl was approach 216, so effectively 84 ‘rejections’ in a row. However, I did get laid and it went on to become a fun 2-month fling, so I am thankful for that. If every chapter from here on out was an exact repeat of this one, I’d be happy with that.
I am also thankful that I have experienced every possible outcome that can happen from approaching a girl. I’ve experienced the girls that don’t even stop for you. I’ve experienced the girls who will happily have a long chat with you but won’t give you their phone number. I’ve experienced a wide array of number closes. I’ve experienced girls who will text you for a little bit and then fall down a mysterious black hole. I’ve experienced time-waster girls who will text you for weeks but will never come out on a date with you. I’ve experienced girls who will come out on dates. I now know how to set up a good date logistically (since I’ve set up so many bad ones). I’ve seen how girls give you fake resistances but are really on for the chase. I’ve seen what a girl who is actually interested in me looks like. And most of all I’ve seen a girl give me a glowing smile as I thrusted my P into her V. I now believe that I can make it all happen through my own effort.
Seen it all.
Moving forward I have a few thoughts. I have done some reflecting on my time in South Korea and I have realized that Daygame has consumed most of it. As of now, I only have 7 and a half weeks left in South Korea before I move to Los Angeles. I can’t realistically see myself sleeping with a Korean girl in that time, and that sucks! It deeply saddens me to have spent so much time in this country Daygaming without ever having banged a native girl. However, life goes on and I am thankful for all of the amazing times that did happen.