This chapter of my Daygame journey begins with a date. This girl flaked on me once before, but I finally got her to come out using the gift technique – trading $1 gifts on our date. We enjoyed some comfort building chit-chat over brownies and ice cream until I found out she didn’t have that much time to spend with me. Luckily, I planned my logistics in advance so we quickly bounced to venue 2. There we were in a dark bar sitting on the same side of the table enjoying beer and chips. When I noticed she was into the conversation enough to ignore her flashing phone on the table I went for the kiss. She coyly turned away and said “not yet.” I jokingly called her shy and went for another kiss in a few minutes. Things were ruined after that. As soon as I finished my last drop of beer she wanted to leave. I walked her to the subway station and I never saw her again.
I felt unreasonably cocky after that experience. I had now officially been on 2 dates from Daygame so apparently that made me an expert on women. I spotted a western girl in the candy shop downtown and I approached her like this.
As soon as she realized I was flirting with her (or at least trying to), she stopped responding to my texts. The next day I went out Daygaming and got 7 blowouts in a row and on the 8th approach she straight up told me she was not interested in meeting “foreigners.” I needed a change. My Korean wingman suggested I give Seoul a try. There would certainly be more English speaking women there. And so I did.
For the next month I would wake up at 5am on Saturdays, take a 4-hour train from Daegu to Seoul, pick up girls all day, sleep in the cheapest hostel I could find, pick up girls all day again and catch a 4-hour train back home Sunday night. These were truly tough times. It was below freezing temperature on Christmas Eve when I arrived in Seoul, the first time, all alone. I tried a little Nightgame but I was too scared to approach and the one girl I did open blew me off immediately. When I got back to my guest room (jail cell) I broke down and cried. Why did Daygame have to be so hard? Why did women have to be so mean to me?!
That’s not to say all of my time in Seoul was a complete waste. I remember it was around 150 approaches when I finally executed the model correctly. Watching the interaction unfold in front of me was like watching a masterpiece being painted.
I was getting more numbers than ever but still a lot of them were flaking on me. After a few weeks of these jaunts, I came back to Daegu broke and depressed. If you asked me why I was still continuing with this Daygame journey I would struggle to give you a solid answer. Any sane man would have given up by now.
I remember one day being on the brink of tears over all of the pain I was experiencing but I still hopped on the bus and went downtown to do some Daygame just to hit 170 approaches. To my surprise I met the hottest Korean girl I’ve seen on my adventures and I ended up taking her out on a date!
For this date I was determined not to mess things up like the last girl I dated so I did everything exactly the opposite way. We went out to a nice warm cafe, enjoyed some tea and I didn’t try to escalate with her, I just focused on building comfort. We were there for 3 hours. I told this girl everything about myself, my childhood dreams, embarrassing things I did in college, everything. I baited her to chime in every now and then but she seemed more than happy to listen to my stories. At the end of the date I walked her to the subway and she even texted me “thank you for the wonderful night ;).” I never saw that girl again. I was fed up. I booked a 2 week trip to Thailand and didn’t look back.
I had truly given up on Daygame at this point. That is, until my friend Danny brokered a bet between me and my other friend Chris. The terms of the bet are: If Chris gets laid first I have to pay him $100. If I get laid first he has to pay me $100. If none of us got laid we both have to pay Danny $50 each. The deadline is June 1st, 2017.
During a particularly memorable night out in Seoul with my friends, Danny really layed into me about my Daygame obsession. “You shouldn’t have been in Seoul by yourself for Christmas, you should have been with your fucking mates!!” he yelled in a drunken rage. “Women are like dogs, they can smell desperation and you are coming across as Mr. I-Need-Pussy!” He was right, but how am I supposed to come across as not caring when it’s my job to initiate things with a woman? At any rate, I was a bit weary of panhandling for pussy in the streets so much.
I was a bit confused after that episode. I wasn’t sure if I should give up or if I should keep going. I loved Daygame but it was clear that it didn’t love me back. Daygame had become like a weird drug addiction only except I wasn’t getting high (i.e. laid). I decided to give it one more go before taking another long break. I hit the streets on Valentine’s Day and successfully opened my first 2-set. They were Russian and they enjoyed talking to me. The one I was hitting on invited me to get pizza with them. It wasn’t technically an I-Date since there were 2 of them but it was a welcomed interruption from my Daygame session. I had lunch with them and I got the contact details of the one I was interested in. I went on yet another vacation – this time to Japan. When I got back, I took the Russian out on a date.
I met her downtown at 8pm and we went to a trendy coffee shop to have some green tea lattes. It was just basic chit-chat except this time there were a few spikes here and there. We went to a cool Jazz bar for venue 2 and I checked her out on the way which made her giggle. As I was about to begin deep rapport in venue 2 a super loud band began playing. It was too loud to have a decent conversation but we did whisper jokes back and forth to each other about the band. I was having fun on the date, this was the best one yet. When the band finished I tried to carry on with rapport but her friend was in trouble at a near by bar. We went and checked on the friend, all was well, and we resumed our date on some nearby couches. I told her she smiled too much and held her hands for 10 seconds to see if she could be serious for a second. The vibe was electric after that but I was too afraid go for the kiss and I HATE myself for that.
After that it was time to go as she needed to catch the bus back home. I walked her to the station, she gave me a hug and invited me to her campus tomorrow to meet some of her friends. She boarded the bus and vanished into the night. I walked home beating myself up for not taking action at the right moment.
I hung out with her and her friends for about 4 hours in her apartment the next day. I’m sure this was a terrible idea (seduction wise) but I was happy that a girl finally wanted to see me again after a first date so I went with it. As that long day finally came to an end, I found myself alone with her at the bus stop waiting for my bus. It would have been bizarre to just kiss her out of nowhere at this point, but I had to do something as I was surely waist deep in the friendzone by now. I bluntly told her that I liked her, I did some BS palm reading and put her hands on my shoulders and asked (cringe) if she would get mad if I kissed her right now. She quickly put her hands back in her pockets and said it would be too soon, “there’s no rush.” I told her that I wanted to take her out on a “proper date” just to get my intentions across right before I boarded the bus. I rode home in a spiral of anxiety.
The last 10 approaches were a field day. It was a holiday in South Korea and I went downtown determined to hit 200. I was running around approaching girls in high spirits because I could see myself running though the model much better now. Out of those 10 approaches, I got 4 numbers! Go me! Even though they have all flaked or let me down gently with a long and thought out text message it was still an exhilarating experience.
So where does that leave me now? I have done 200 approaches in total, and out of this set of 100 I’ve gotten 20 phone numbers, 3 dates and 0 lays. Even though I am technically doing a lot better than my first 100 approaches it doesn’t feel like it. I feel like I have crossed a stormy ocean and washed up on a warm sandy beach thinking I have made it to the promise land only to look up and see a mountain that I must now climb. That mountain being sexual escalation.
My challenge moving forward is – having the courage to escalate and having the calibration to do it smoothly. That and keeping my Daygame shenanigans away from my friends who are genuinely concerned for my mental health along this journey. For my next 100 approaches I think I will try Gutter game/Bar game because I assume that will give me more opportunities to escalate. I don’t know what’s going to happen moving forward, I don’t even know if I’m on the right track but one thing is for certain, I have to keep going if I want to become a successful PUA.